


Conflict

by WakeUpSunshine



Category: Dickinson (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Inspired by Poetry, Jealousy, Love, Passion, Romance, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:13:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21515842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WakeUpSunshine/pseuds/WakeUpSunshine
Summary: Sue plays the piano for Emily while Emily has an "awakening" of sorts. Austin feels the need to test Emily's patience at dinner, which doesn't go well.
Relationships: Emily Dickinson/Susan "Sue" Gilbert
Comments: 6
Kudos: 248





	Conflict

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to send me any requests!! Comment what you liked / didn't like. Enjoy!
> 
> Say hi on Instagram!!: emmaflynn_2002

"Emily for the third time you're doing it wrong"

I slowly looked up from the dough I was kneading and felt the anger bubbling in my veins, I swear she's told me that at least twenty times in the last five minutes "Ok that's it, I'm done for the day"

"You can't be done Emily, you must learn to do this correctly" my mother sighed before taking my place and grabbing the dough from the table 

"I think I am done mother, if I spend one more second in here I'm going to throw myself in the oven" I stepped around the table and snatched a freshly baked cookie from a wooden basket 

"Emily! Do not use such distasteful language. You know better" Mrs Dickinson sighed audibly before turning around to clear off the table 

"Uh huh, swry mom I guta go!" I deliberately spoke with my mouth full of cookie, spraying crumbs onto my white sleeveless dress. I laughed to myself as I left the kitchen and heard my mother shriek with frustration at my bad manners.

I hummed to myself as I climbed the stairs and strolled leisurely to my bedroom. I finished off my cookie, wiping my hands on my dress before I sat down in the old chair at my desk. I unfolded the small piece of paper that was hidden away in my drawer and read over the first few words carefully

-It's all I have to bring today  
This and my heart beside -

I put my pencil in my mouth and bit down lightly, racking my brain to string up the next line. Sue clouded my thoughts, she always did. Especially the last few days. I still can't comprehend the fact that she's going to be married to my brother soon. The mere thought of it made me feel sick. It's just not fair. She doesn't love him, it will be like slavery for her. 

And torture for me.

To watch the woman I love get married to someone else, so she can be locked up in a house and touched whenever the man sees fit. My vision blurred as unshed tears welled up in my eyes. I raised my head and wiped my eyes, rubbing my thumb and forefinger together as I stared at the glistening liquid in the evening sun. I looked out the window and watched the orange glow of the sun paint the sky in glorious shades of pink and red. Flares of light shone through the branches in our forest, creating a calm and serene atmosphere. How long had I been sitting in this chair?

My stomach grumbled loudly, reminding me that it must be near dinner time. Which meant I should probably be downstairs in the kitchen helping prepare the food. 

I rolled my eyes before standing up and pushing my chair under my desk. The old wood of the chair creaked softly to itself, whispering gently to the eery noises in the walls of the house.

The hallways in the house were a lot darker as I made my way downstairs, lonely candles and gas lamps lit up the old walls. I was nearly at the bottom of the stairs when I heard a faint sound of a piano. A soft melody that washed over my body like a warm gentle shower. I knew it was Sue instantly, no one could play the piano quite like her. She wasn't completely perfect when she played but she poured so much emotion into her music that it didn't matter.

I slowed down and krept down the hall, stopping so I could peak into the front room. There sat Sue, leisurely playing the piano, her body swaying ever so slightly to the flow of the music.

I leaned my shoulder on the doorframe while I watched her. She looked so peaceful and at ease for once. I know the death of her sister hit her hard, even though she tries acting like she's fine. Her forehead was wrinkle free and her back wasn't rigid with tension. I felt a small smile break out on my lips at the sight. It was the first time she's been so at ease in weeks. She deserved to be happy. It pained me but if that meant her not being with me then I would take a step back. For her I would do anything.

I shook away those thoughts for now, no point in dwelling on what might not ever be. I shuffled across the floor as quietly as I could and sat down on the piano stool next to Sue. 

"Jesus Emily!" She yelped, pressing a few wrong keys and messing up her rhythm "you startled me"

"I'm sorry" I smiled, taking in the woman next to me. The smell of Sue's perfume invaded my senses, it felt like I was intoxicated. She shook her head playfully before leaning her elbow on top of the piano, resting her head on her fist as she played a simple tune with her other hand. 

"How long have you been standing there?" She asked, looking at me with her soft brown eyes. 

"Oh you know" I shrugged "long enough to fall in love with you all over again"

Sue bit her lip and glanced down at my lap, avoiding eye contact "Emily..." her voice had a slight warning to it. I knew I shouldn't say such things where someone could hear but I can't help myself. It was physically impossible to not say such things when I was around Sue.

"Yeah, I know" I played with my fingers in my lap nervously. I couldn't tell if I was angry or saddened by the fact that I couldn't express my feelings to Sue ninety percent of the time "So, what were you playing?" I asked, desperate to change the subject.

"Oh nothing really, it's just something I made up" 

"It was really good Sue, truly" I saw a light blush dusting her cheeks before she smiled and looked away 

"Thank you, Emily" her smile grew bashful before I spoke up again

"Would you play it for me again?" I asked, biting my bottom lip nervously.

"Here" the other woman spoke, moving closer to me so our shoulders were touching. The sudden contact between us made my heart skip a beat "play it with me"

I let Sue grab my hands and guide them to the polished white keys. She placed her hands over mine and guided my fingers to the appropriate keys. 

Her soft hands over my own distracted me too much to appreciate the soft melody she was playing. All I could focus on was how smooth her skin was, how slender her fingers are. Those hands that had only mapped out a small portion of my body but how I longed to feel them in other places. My heart rate picked up as my blood rushed quicker through my system at the images I was conjuring up in my head. 

"Em" she whispered, glancing at me with a smirk on her lips "focus, you're day dreaming"

"What??" I pretended to be shocked as I shook my head "I am not! I am very focused actually Emily Gilbert"

"Really?" She laughed. My lips parted when she moved closer and placed her lips near the shell of my ear "so my hands aren't distracting you?" Damn this woman, she knows all my weak spots. My ears and neck being one of many. 

I clenched my jaw at her close proximity, her warm voice sent shivers down my spine "well?" She persisted, drawing circles on the back of my hand with her thumb

"Well what?" My voice was weak, her lips were brushing my ear softly, barely there. I felt a warm feeling growing in my lower stomach, it made sitting still uncomfortable. 

"Are my hands distracting you, Emily?"

I released a ragged breath and turned my face towards Sue. I knew my cheeks were flushed and I couldn't make eye contact with the other woman "Yes, they are distracting me Sue"

"In what way?" She asked, her voice was husky as it bounced off my neck. I titled my head to the side, my inner turmoil was begging me to move a little closer to Sue and let her soft pink lips kiss my neck.

"I feel... warm" I hadn't noticed I was chewing my lip until she reached up and gently pulled it from my teeth with her thumb. Of course I'd been turned on before but it had never made me feel so, desperate. I knew I would of let Sue do anything to me in that moment as long as she kept her hands on me.

"It's ok Em, I understand"

"You do?" I whispered, finally finding the courage to look into Sue's eyes. Her pupils were dilated and her brown eyes were now practically black.

"Of course I do, you make me feel the same way" she took her hand off mine and gently traced a single finger up my arm. Her touch left fire in it's wake, almost burning my skin.

"How do I fix it?" My breathing was laboured as the ache between my legs increased. I watched Sue smirk before she reached up and moved some hair away from my face, her fingers brushed against my warm skin making me tremble slightly. 

"Oh Emily" she trapped her bottom lip in between her teeth while she stared at my mouth. I would of given anything to lean forward and kiss that gorgeous smirk off her face "when that ache gets too much, I will fix it for you"

"You?" I whispered, my eyes widened at the possibility of letting Sue touch me in such a way. I couldn't help the small gasp that escaped my lips as the ache between my thighs suddenly grew at the mere thought. I decided against crossing my legs and adding friction to the already sensitive area. 

"Yes" she smiled before leaning over and placing a brief kiss on me cheek "me"

My mother's voice interrupted us from the other room, calling us all for dinner. I practically jumped to my feet to put some space between me and Sue. I heard the other woman chuckle gently before she moved in front of me and took my hands in hers.

"Emily, sweetheart. Look at me" I had never felt so shy and intimidated in my life but I found the courage to glance into Sue's eyes. They held nothing but kindness and understanding as she gazed at me "everything you're feeling is perfectly natural, do not feel embarrassed around me, ok?"

I nodded my head slowly and found myself smiling slowly "I just, haven't felt anything that intense before"

"Really?" Sue asked "not even when we kiss?"

I felt my cheeks heat up again and I glanced around the room shyly "well yes of course but it's never felt that pleasurable before" my voice was a whisper, only loud enough to fill the small space between us

"Pleasurable?" I looked up and saw a sinful smirk grow on Sue's lips before she softly grabbed my chin and made me look into her eyes "Emily my dear, soon I will show you what real pleasure feels like"

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Where were you when we were preparing dinner Emily?"

I quickly snapped my head away from the window when I heard my mother say my name, although I hadn't quite heard what she had said "I'm sorry what mom?"

"I was just asking where you were when me and your sister were busy making dinner, we could of used some help"

"Not like she could of contributed much" Lavinia snickered. 

I shot her a glare before turning back to Mrs Dickinson. I opened my mouth to speak before my father rudely cut in "Up in her room scribbling no doubt"

My chest caved in a little at his harsh words. I used to be angry by everyone's comments on my writing but now it just saddened me. Everyone had a rude opinion on it, except for Sue.

"I wasn't scribbling father, I was writing" I mumbled, playing with a loose thread on my dress from under the table cloth.

"I'd rather not have this discussion again Emily, especially at the dinner table when I'm trying to eat" his voice was low but shouting would of had the same effect

An uncomfortable silence settled over all of us. My breathing was shallow as I tried to brush his comments off but each time it seems to be harder to ignore. I cursed myself when I felt my eyes slowly start to brim with tears. 

"Um Austin!" My mother's voice was overly chirpy, compensating for the awkward silence "have you and Sue made any plans for the wedding yet?"

I did look up at that, the tears in my eyes were no longer tears of sadness but tears of anger. I knew I was letting my emotions get the better of me but I couldn't help it.

"Well mother we haven't anything set in stone yet" Austin had a proud smirk on his face as he stared at Sue who was sitting next to me "but anything my beloved wants, she shall have"

"Oh Austin, you are the perfect gentleman" I watched my mother place her hand over Austin's as she praised my older brother. I couldn't help the scowl on my face though I tried to hide it.

"Well I have to be, I'm marrying the most beautiful woman in all the world" Unfortunately I did agree with my brother on that, Sue was the most beautiful person I've ever laid eyes on but he was still talking with a cocky attitude, as if he had won something. 

"That is true my son" Mr Dickinson piped up before clicking his fingers at our mother and pointing at the roast chicken in the middle of the table. I openly glared at him now, could he not cut his own damn chicken? My mother of course instantly hopped to her feet and proceeded to cut him a slice of chicken with a shining smile on her face.

"Father, have there been any developments on our house?" Austin asked, twirling the brandy in his glass.

"No, not yet my boy, if I was you I would start picking out furniture soon though. You'd be wise to put an order in now"

"What an excellent idea! Sue, would you accompany me into town tomorrow so we can do that?"

"Yes of course, I'd be happy to" I could tell she was lying, of course I was the only one who could. I found a little comfort in the fact that Sue didn't want to marry my brother at all, as selfish as that sounds. 

"We'll have the biggest bed in the store, no matter the cost" everyone at the table heard the suggestive tone in his voice and the prominent smirk on his lips. I clenched my jaw, I knew I couldn't lash out but the way he was talking was starting to really irritate me.

"Can you not talk like that?" My voice was low, I continued to stare down at my half empty plate

"Talk like what? Austin sniggered before spooning some mashed potatoe onto his plate. 

"Just stop" I glanced up then and saw the mischievous glint in my brothers eye 

"Emily, it is perfectly natural for two people who are married to make love-"

"You are not married to Sue yet!" My hand flew down and landed hard on the wooden table, rattling some plates "so stop talking about her like she isn't present. Don't you dare lay her personal life out on this table just because you think you've won something"

"But I have won something, Emily" Austin sat up taller in his chair and puffed his chest out like some testosterone filled gorilla "I've won Sue's heart"

I felt my neck twitch at his words. Oh how wrong you are, I thought. It pained me to no extent that I couldn't tell him how foolish he truly is. How blind could he be to not realise that I've had Sue's heart for all these years?

None of that mattered though. Sue is to become his wife and they will live next door to us forever. Constantly teasing me with what I want. Right next door and a whole world away.

My fists clenched the fabric of my dress underneath the table tightly. I almost thought I would rip it until I felt a small soft hand cover my own. I didn't break my glare from Austin, I already knew who's hand it was. 

"That is enough out of both of you" Mrs Dickinson spoke up from beside our fathers chair "you've ruined this perfectly good dinner"

I let Sue's fingers softly untangle the innocent fabric from my vice like grip. I didn't protest when she slid her fingers in between mine and held my hand firmly. I watched as Austin sat smugly in his chair and cocked an eyebrow at me. I was ready to leap across the table and strangle him when my father spoke up

"leave me now, I want to enjoy my cigar in peace"

I was the first one to jump from my seat and make my way upstairs towards my bedroom, taking care to bump into Austin's shoulder roughly as I stormed past. I shouldn't of been surprised at the fact that my father said nothing to scold Austin but it still irritated me to no end.

I reached the top of the stairs and threw my bedroom door open, not caring that it bounced off the wall. My legs had a mind of their own as they paced back and forth in my small room. 

"Emily"

The door clicked shut gently as Sue entered. She stood a few feet away from me as I continued to pace the length of my room.

"Sue you heard what he was saying, the way he was talking about you. It was disgusting. He has no right!" I tried to keep my voice down, none of this was Sue's fault. 

"I know Em but he was just trying to get a rise out of you"

"Clearly it fucking worked" my words were laced in venom. My hands started to tremble with the anger I felt. Not just from what Austin said, this anger had been building up since the moment I found out they were to be wed.

"Hey" I was suddenly stopped when I felt Sue's hands on either side of my face. Her cool hands felt like heaven on my searing cheeks. Our chests practically brushed and our faces were nearly touching "it was really kind of you to stick up for me at dinner and I do really appreciate it but you're letting Austin get inside your head"

I opened my mouth to speak before Sue placed a gentle finger on my lips, halting my actions "you have to remember that no matter what happens, he has not won my heart. He can not own what you already posses. You own my heart Emily, only you"

I placed my hands on hers, bringing us closer together "really?" My voice was weak, it almost trembled 

"Yes really, silly girl. I love you. I will always love you, ok?"

I nodded my head slowly, staring at the reassuring smile on Sue's face. I knew she was telling the truth. 

Without another word I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and pulled her into a tight hug. I buried my face in the crook of Sue's neck and breathed in her familiar scent as she rocked us gently. 

We both knew this wasn't going to be easy or even enjoyable at times

But we knew our love for each other was real and that is all that matters.

\- Its all I have to bring today  
This and my heart beside  
And all the fields  
And all the meadows wide -


End file.
